I’ve decided to try out something, a monthly blog post about life with a new baby. Every month of his first year I will write a new post about what it is like with a new born.
My lovely little boy was born July 13, 2015. Today is August 15, 2015 and since becoming a mom I feel both different and the same. It’s weird I thought everything would change once he was here, that somehow I would be bestowed with some sort of new insight, instinct, or knowledge. I was also convinced that this newness would cause a complete change to occur. Change has certainly occurred instinct has kicked in, but I don’t feel any different I am still me.
I have the instinct to take care of and do everything necessary to provide my son with the best life possible. I worry more than I thought I would. I worry that I will not be good enough and that I will make mistakes. I have all the fears of a new mom, as is to be expected. However, beyond the simple responsibilities, I don’t feel different inside. I feel like I myself am still a child, I don’t feel like I was ready for this. I look around at my life and wonder how, how did I get here? Why has this child been given to me as my responsibility? I haven’t even fully figured out who I am. I have days of sadness, frustration, and great joy. No one prepares you for the emotional roller coaster that becoming a new mom brings.
During this first month my little boy has already hit key developmental milestones. He can lift his head by himself for the most part and he can roll from his belly to his back. He dances when I hold him and he is ready to eat. He has a beautiful smile and his eyes appear to be taking on my hazel coloring. He is fascinated by the bear mobile above his swing and he loves the sound of his fathers voice and to be bounced by him on the yoga ball. I worry about him spitting up all the time, but I am told that this is normal and as long as he continues to gain weight he is just fine. At two weeks he had gained nearly a full pound from his original birth weight and was nearing the ten pound marker.
I’m exclusively breastfeeding and so far we are doing great. My little man and I had a rough first couple of days while I learned how to properly hold him and latch him, but since then breastfeeding itself is very easy. I will admit I bled and blistered within those first couple of days. I pumped after a week postpartum and we located bottles that fit my nipple shape that baby was able to accept. My husband gave me a day off to relax and he took to the bottle very well, however he definitely prefers his mommy to the bottle. I will admit I don’t feel that breastfeeding has created a greater bond with my son, in fact to be honest more often than not I hold a bit of resentment towards him whenever I’m breastfeeding. So many mothers talk about how they love breastfeeding, I feel it is important to know that you don’t have to be in love with breastfeeding. It’s okay not to enjoy it. I will continue to breastfeed for the first year of my son’s life even though I honestly don’t enjoy the activity. I am choosing to do so because firstly it is the healthiest option for him, and secondly its affordable and with my husband and I’s tight budget there is not much room for expensive formula purchases.
Two things have really saved my sanity this month.
First the arms on onesies are designed specifically so you do not have to remove them over the babies head. Take the babies arms out of the onesie through the neck and pull down rather than up. This is especially helpful when the baby gets poop or pee on the bottom of the onesie.
Second tip put a bib on baby during the day and only remove when placing him in the crib. This will save you from changing his clothes a million times after baby spits up all over them.