The Unobtainable Goal

I wouldn’t say that I am by any means close with the majority of my facebook friends, so why do I even bother keeping a facebook? I’d say it is for shared ideas and thoughts like this one. One of my friends from college shared the below image and went on to give a detailed opinion on the expectations pressed upon so many of our millennial generation today.

Employment of millenialsHer argument was essentially this, we need to stop pressuring people about when they are going to get married, when they will buy a house, and when they will have kids. It is not reasonable to expect someone to fork over $35,000 for wedding when in reality two, three, and even five years after college they are still trying to a find a long term job they can stick with for the long hall. I know what you are thinking, wait aren’t you married and are you not expecting a baby here in a month or so. Yes, I am, but I didn’t have a wedding and I certainly wasn’t planning for kids so quickly after graduating college. Currently my career exists in the fantasies of the internet scraping by not making near enough to take care of myself on my own (I’m lucky to have a husband who makes enough to cover the major bills, but its a bumpy road even with him.) He was never able to go to college and though he has a fantastic career, he hasn’t found a company he was willing to stay with for more than a year to a year and half before he was forced to move on to a new location. Considering the staggering statistics of the chart above that isn’t 100% unheard of either.

So ultimately what is the purpose of this post? I’d say the purpose of this post is to show people that you can plan things out, and do everything “right” and still end up working paycheck to paycheck with no house of your own struggling in debt. How do you prevent it? How do you get out of it? I’m currently in the process of figuring that out. Right now however, I know two things: 1st) You do have to love what you do, otherwise you will be stuck in the cycle of constantly changing jobs, 2nd) You have to find the right environment to work in. My husband has recently changed jobs again, I’m hoping that this time, him working at this place will be for the long hall. He loves making sushi and in all honesty he’s really good at it. In addition, this place is sending him home with a smile on his face and a calm and relaxed demeanor something he has never managed to return home with even at places he enjoyed working.

Tell me what is your dream job? Do you feel that the company you work for now, will be the same company you are working for next year? How about five years from now?

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Today in History: Marriage Equality is Born

Our parents and grandparents of the Baby Boomer generation may have celebrated the concept of Free Love and inspired a nation to hand out Free Hugs as a part of social equality and acceptance, but this generation the Millennials has done more than that by creating a nation and a world in which people are free to marry whom they choose. Whether you are yellow, black, blue, white, male, or female it doesn’t matter. If you are in love and want to forever share your life with another human being you are free to do so no matter if you are the same sex, religion, color, or what have you if you are of legal age to marry you may choose to marry whomever you wish. Congrats to the LGBTQ community for achieving this amazing step in the fight for equality and may you all have long and happy marriages with the loves of your life. Today 6/26/2015 is a historical day in history, as the Supreme Court of the United States of America has declared that all same sex marriages be approved and respected across the 50 states.

gay marriage

My Bella Voxbox

So I signed up to receive this awesome beauty box filled with free stuff, it came in a little later than I expected, but you can’t really complain when the stuff is free. So I’ve been spending the last couple of weeks testing out the products and as a returned favor to the company who sent it to me I’m writing a review here on my blog discussing what I think about the products.

Product #1: Dove Fruit

This yummy snack came as a bit of a surprise, typically I’m not much of a dark chocolate lover, however these little fruit filled bites were pretty yum, yum, yummy!!! Of course I think my husband may have loved them just a bit more, he practically inhaled the bag after I’d eaten possibly two or three. In his chef opinion the blue berries were a perfect combination with the chocolate enhancing the flavor just as they should.

Product #2: EcoTools Mattifying Finish Brush

I’m honestly not much of a makeup person, which is ironic considering this whole box is pretty much dedicated to makeup and beauty. However, being a woman and nine months pregnant its nice to fix yourself up once in awhile. I originally attempted to apply my powder concealer using this brush, but ultimately that is not what it was designed for. When I realized what little concealer was actually going onto my face with this brush I instantly returned to my usual brush. I found that this brush the Eco Mattifying Finish Brush is most ideal for applying blush. In fact, I’ve never had my blush look better.

Product #3 and #4: Rimmel London LookRimmel look

> Lasting Finish Lip Stick by Kate Moss

> Scandaleyes Mascara by Kate Moss

The new Kate Moss collection applies easily, I also liked that I didn’t have an adverse reaction to the mascara as I tend to be allergic to most brands. Unfortunately, both products did not quite receive a full five stars from me as they both had some not so impressive mishaps. The lipstick dried my lips out within a couple of hours without having a protective chapstik layer applied beneath. The mascara on my first day wearing it wound up melting off my lashes in the humidity of the day, I’ve never had the experience of mascara literally melting off my face. Fortunately I’ve had no problems with the mascara when staying indoors all day. The mascara is definitely not a work out approved mascara, but would probably hold up for a special night out begging that you are staying indoors or don’t live in an overly humid climate like we often experience here in Texas.

Product #5: Not Your Mothers Deja Vu Du Style Extender

The smell of this product alone was enough to make me swoon. I applied a couple of quarter size dabs to my hair (I have really long hair at the moment) after showering and just before blow drying the day of my baby shower. We were having the shower at the swimming pool and as I mentioned with the makeup above its pretty hot and humid here. The extender did  an excellent job of keeping my hair looking gorgeous all evening, though I would have liked if it could have stood up to the chlorinated pool a bit better. Of course I don’t think it was designed for that. Ha ha, this stuff kept my hair soft, silky, and oil free throughout a very humid day I consider it a new found beauty go to.

Product #6: Sally Hansen Airbrush Perfect Legs

Unfortunately the color I received was too dark for me to try the product out on my own. I’ve tried other Sally Hansen products and really loved them though. I extended the sample over to a good friend of mine, who used it on her vacation this past weekend and really enjoyed it. Her fiance was pleased as well.

Product #7: ClubW free bottle of winea-glass-of-428315_1280

Being pregnant I obviously was not able to participate in this particular offering. However, I have plans to send the free bottle as a gift to my Nana and to try out the recipes on this amazing site. Check out Club W here and get a free bottle of wine when you purchase two just use the code REFERME

Well that’s it for my Bella Beauty VoxBox thanks Influenster for all the free swag and hooking me up with these amazing goodies. You too can be an influenster and receive free stuff just like I did. Just follow the link here to be the next person to receive free stuff.

Why is the Millennial Generation so Poor?

Is it the millennial generation or the baby boomer generation that is to blame for why the young twenty and thirty somethings of today are so poor? S. E Smith recently posted an intriguing article at The Daily Dot pinpointing the blame of today’s current economic distopia on the baby boomer generation. While baby boomers want to point the finger at current millennial attitudes towards work, technology, and socialization Smith’s article points towards the tech bubble of the 1990s, the recession of the millennium, as well as the push for the millennial generation to go to college at a time when tuition cost is at its peak in terms of expense.

To see The Daily Dot Article please click here.

The argument is that the millennial generation is too lazy to work, that what we as a generation really want is to have fun, socialize, take selfies, and play games on the internet. Though we are a highly entertainment loving crowed I wouldn’t say we are as a whole lazy. There are many in my generation who are more hard working than any adult I knew growing up was. Yet, I also can’t help, but see the side that makes the baby boomer generation feel the way that they do. I know many millennials who simply want to go through life having fun without having too worry too much about finances and living expenses. I don’t see there being a problem with this sort of mindset accept in that I believe we all have certain responsibilities we need to uphold and take care of. I believe it is important to do what you love, regardless if the pay is worth it.

The baby boomer generation was all about free love, working hard, and following your dreams. The millennial generation as I see it is about following your dreams and having fun while you do it. Free love has been replaced with connecting with as many people as you can through the internet as a means of creating social connections for play, or work. Without blaming the baby boomer generation it is my opinion that the reason for the millennial generations poor status is a result of poor money management skills and living above our means. The generation before us were gifted with parents who taught them how to save money after all living through the great depression was par the course of the parents of the baby boomers. Though we may have learned basic money saving skills from our parents we didn’t learn  how to skimp on necessities, and cram together the most usages out of every little item. This is not necessarily the fault of our parents after all they had no reason to teach us these things. We live in an age where yes smart phones, computers, and flat screen televisions are just par the course of the modern home and life. It isn’t necessary for us to get rid of these things in order to pay off the masses of debt we have somehow found ourselves accumulating there are a thousand plus ways for us as individuals to pay down our debts its just a matter of learning to budget, and figuring out what we can truly live without.

Why do you feel the millennial generation finds itself to be in such a high state of debt? What do you think we as a generation should do to fix it?

Did you Adult today?

I’m 23 years old expecting my first baby in the next month (Only 4 weeks left till my due date!!!) and though I’ve had my moments where I was like hey I’m an adult it never truly hit home for me until these last few days. Recently I started looking around and realizing all of the different “adult” things that I was doing to prepare. I picked up outlet plugs, washcloths, and toothbrushes at the local dollar store. I packed the hospital bag complete with stuff for mom, baby, and dad. Made homemade baby wipes ( I did the math and the average cost of name brand baby wipes even on sale is about 1-2 cents per wipe vs. making the wipes yourself for less than a half a cent each). In addition, I got my baby bag together and made a list of things that would be needed in the future for on the go transport. Finally, I found a pediatrician for my little bundle of joy to visit once he is born. Going through these different steps and thinking about all that is involved with a little baby and a newborn life, which is soon to be my full responsibility, I couldn’t help but think wow I’m the adult here.

For the first 18years of life we depend on our parents for everything: food in our bellies, a roof above our head, socialization, education, and entertainment. We become accustomed to them fixing our mistakes, and cleaning up our messes until one day they don’t do that anymore and we go off to get our own roofs, create our own social groups, buy our own food, pay for our own educational pursuits, and our own entertainment. Of course even as we slowly start doing all of these things it doesn’t really occur to us that this is what adults do. At first we do these things because we want to, we want to live and we want to care for ourselves. We no longer want the help of our parents as we become our own individuals. We form relationships with a significant other and then we have a shared dependence upon one another sometimes perhaps often times finding ourselves playing the parental figure or having the other play the parent role for us. These are the stepping stones to becoming a true adult. Stepping stones we may not even realize before we turn around and oops!!! We are now the parents of a little baby fully in charge of all the things our parents before us were in charge of.

I finally had my adult moment, I woke up and I looked around to find that I live in an apartment with bills in my name. I have a baby growing inside my belly and eventually here in the next few weeks or so he is going to grace us with his presence and he will be my full responsibility.

When was your adult moment? At what point did you stop and look around to realize you were the adult in the house or an adult in the situation?

The big decision: SAHM vs Working Mom

Its pretty common knowledge that a chef doesn’t make a lot of money. My husband does well to cover all of our necessities, but with a baby on the way his single income with my meager writing pay isn’t going to work long term. I had planned to go back to the office once our son was a year old. However, he isn’t even here yet and its looking more and more like I will need to return to the real world just a few months after he’s born. How does one make this decision,  what are the pros and cons for choosing to be a working mother vs. a stay a home mom (SAHM)?

SAHM (Pros)
• Don’t have to pay for day care
• See every part of your child’s life
• Sleep when the baby sleeps
• More time to clean the house
• Do things on your own schedule
Working Mom (Pros)
• Get out of the house
• Adult Interaction
• Can afford diapers and groceries
• Are not fully dependent on Husband
• More structured daily routine

As much as I enjoy getting to make my own schedule right now, I feel I’m one of those people who needs at least part of their day to be structured by a set routine. I feel I could be achieving so much more if I was required to be somewhere at certain parts of the day. I miss interacting with adults on a regular basis and my baby is not even here yet, I think I’ve been hermit-ting/nesting for too long. Currently my husband and I are doing ok, but I know when the baby gets here and we have a third mouth to feed, that story is very likely going to change. Even though I plan to breastfeed that’s more food I’m going to have to eat in order to make sure I can produce the essentials necessary for baby. If I get a part time I estimate I can make about $2000 a month, that money would easily cover diapers/groceries and begging my friends are as awesome as they claim to be it would cover “day care”. In addition to covering diapers, groceries, and day care I should also be able to put somewhere around $500 a month towards the debt my husband and I had accumulated before we married one another.
SAHM (CONS)
• Can’t afford to pay off debts
• Budget will be very tight
• Little structure in routine
• Husband will likely have to get a second job (80+ hrs)
• Will never get to see my husband
Working Mom (CONS)
• Have to pay for day care
• Loose time with my baby
• Less sleep
• Won’t get to see my husband as often
• Have to deal with people

My husband and I do not have overly expensive bills, our issues stem mostly from previous debt. We can’t move forward from where we are because we have a history that has yet to be fixed. We didn’t plan for this baby, but we are taking responsibility for him. Currently as a writer I’m making between $200 and $300 a month, this covers the cost of gas and car insurance every month. With $2000 extra coming in every month my husband and I could finally afford to get out of debt as well as pay all of our bills. In addition, I could also afford to give my friends something for their generosity in helping to watch my baby. I can’t afford to work full time, because day care is way too expensive and I would lose money doing so. However, I can afford to work part time and help cover the shortcomings of our budget. It’s likely I won’t get to see my husband as often as I would like, but I will get to see him more than if he was the one who had to get another job. In addition, he is less likely to get burnt out if I’m the one to get a job.

What made you decide whether staying at home or going back to the office was a better choice for you and your family?