Defineing Friendship

I can humbly admit that most people who meet me in person tend to like me right away. I’m generally described as a good friend who listens, and supports those she comes into contact with. However, growing up and even today sometimes I look around and don’t feel as though I have any actual friends. Though I know deep down in my heart I do, but somehow my head just doesn’t seem to agree with this. Why do I sometimes feel this way? Based on a recent conversation with my husband its because I have an idealized image of what friends do and how friends interact with one another. The problem with this image that I have is, yes some people have friends and interact with them in this way, but in reality those people are not true friends (at least its not very likely). So what is a friend and how do you know when you have a real one?

According to my husband you don’t have to talk or hang out with someone every day for them to be considered your friend. In actuality a true friend is someone who is there when you need them. They have your back, and they support you when your doing things right, and give you a talking to when your screwing things up. My husband knows that his friends will do any and all of these things for him. I on the other hand am not so sure. I have never given any of my friends a real chance to help me out. Instead I’ve always tried to deal with my problems on my own. It is probably for this reason that I’m so uncertain about who my friends really are. In many of my friendships I feel fake, like I’m using the individuals simply as a momentary escape out of my own head. In other words they are an excuse for me to be social for a few minutes or hours.

girls-685778_1280How do I see friendship? Think Hollywood Blockbuster films where women frequently meet for lunch or coffee to go girl gab, talk about their lives, and give each other advice on how to fix different issues. Sometimes they go on amazing adventures together where they meet strangers and get into a bunch of trouble together. They call each other about once a day or at least once a week and catch each other up on the latest going on in their lives. They know just about everything there is to know about one another because they have been friends for so long. This is how I always imagined friends behaved and bonded. Now as an adult I’m learning its not the case. I’m learning that I have to redefine and rework my imagination on what a real friendship looks like. I’ve already met my best guy friend in the world (My husband) and I don’t plan on letting him go.

What I need to do now is to find a girlfriend I enjoy spending time with and just like I worked to make the relationship happen with my significant other I need to work to make a lasting relationship happen with one of my female friends. So tell me How do you define friendship? Leave a comment below.

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College or Workforce?

For some the choice between college or workforce following high school graduation is easy. Some are not given a choice and are either required to attend school by their parents, while others have no way to afford the cost of a college education and opt to go straight into the workforce. Unfortunately, a select few simply just don’t know what option is best for them, either they aren’t sure if college is the right place for them, they don’t know how to afford it, or even if they could get in. There are pros and cons to attending college, just as there are pros and cons to jumping immediately into the workforce. Statistically those who only have a high school diploma with no college experience or hours are going to make less money than someone who has a college degree. However, a degree is also no guarantee of a job in addition it can prevent you from getting jobs as the individual becomes over qualified simply because they have a degree. I have created two tables detailing the reasons to attend college and the reasons to jump in the workforce. If your debating whether or not you yourself should jump into the workforce or start making plans to attend college in the fall I highly encourage you to utilize the tables below to help in your decision making process.

Reasons to Attend College: Applies to Me: Does not Apply to Me:
I want to attend
My parent/guardian wants me to
I enjoy learning
I enjoy reading
I enjoy writing
I would like to pursue a career that requires a minimum degree.
I have scholarships in my name
I don’t know what I want to do Career wise.
I have a trust fund/money set aside for college.
I have a talent that I want to pursue.
I have to help out my family
I did not enjoy working while in High school/I did not hold a job while in high school.
Reasons to Jump into the Work Force: Applies to Me: Does Not Apply to Me:
I dislike school
I worked while in High School
I have a job lined up
My family has its own business
I have a successful business already started
I have a trade certificate that I earned while in high school i.e cosmetology license, mechanics license
I’m not sure what I want to do with my life write now.
I was not a good student in High School
I have a talent I know I can market
I have to help out my family
I enjoyed working while in High School.
I already have my own car/ reliable transportation

Tally up the marks in the applies to me section and which ever table has the most applies to me marks should be the register-23666_1280decision you consider most strongly. Of course everyone’s situation and just because you can’t or don’t want to attend college  immediately following graduation does not mean you never will or never should. Feel free to use these tables even if you’ve already been in the workforce for a while. I will have more articles on this decision making process in the future.

What made you decide to attend college or jump immediately into the workforce? Please feel free to leave your comment below.

Redesigning my Blog

Recently I have allowed by blog to slip off the radar, my heart just was not in it strongly enough to continue writing blog post after blog post surrounding the topic of food. Though I absolutely love food and cooking, there are a bazillion, other subjects that I would prefer discussing. It is for this reason that I threw myself so heavily into blogging and marketing research this last month originally to rekindle my passion and learn a better way to make this activity pleasurable again. What I learned was that I had jumped too quickly into a topic that there was never any hope of me being forever happy with. It seemed every book and article I read this month had the same thing to say about choosing your blog topic: 1) write about your passion, 2) write what others come to you for advice about, and 3) write about what you yourself enjoy reading. I have a vast number of topics that I enjoy pursuing and am asked for advice on a wide variety of things. However, what it ultimately boiled down to was that I love two things in this world more than anything else Writing and Research.

Now there are plenty of blogs on the topic of writing, so writing a blog on writing would in no way be a new idea. In addition, there are plenty of blogs related to books and reading. However, what you do not often see are blogs dedicated to the topic of research. Above all others, research is my greatest passion, mostly because I love to learn. So where you might ask am I going with this? Well, I enjoy asking questions and I am very good at finding the answers to my questions. Therefore, I am redesigning my blog to revolve around this new theme: Questions of an Aging Millennial. Many of my previous, blog posts will still be available, but for those who originally signed up for my awesome cooking, and kitchen advice you may notice that there is not as much of that showing up any more. As I go through different points in life’s many stages it is likely, I will develop multiple passions, which come with lots of questions and research on my own part. When I first started this blog I was immensely passionate about cooking and food, today I am more focused on working from home, budgeting, homemaking, blogging, networking, and living life frugally.

It is therefore with sad tidings that I say goodbye to Novice Cook to Home Cook and ask you my readers to welcome in my new blog theme Questions of an Aging Millennial. In the upcoming weeks, I aim to bring you more frequent and regular content concerning my everyday questions, answers, and research. In addition, I welcome all of my readers to ask me any question that they themselves have been dying to know the answer to. Those with questions that provide inspiration might just become the topic of my next blog post.

Looking forward to all of your wonderful questions in the comments below,

Leeann